Discovering My Neurodivergence
Finding out I was neurodivergent changed everything for me—it gave me the freedom to exist as my authentic self.
I wasn’t diagnosed as autistic until late high school, and that diagnosis brought a landslide of clarity. Everything I had once thought was "wrong" with me was simply the reality of navigating a neurotypical world not built for my brain. Realizing that I was different—and that it wasn’t a bad thing—changed how I connected with the world.
The Exhaustion of Fitting In
On the surface, I had friends, participated in class discussions, and adapted to different social situations. But beneath it all, I was frantically kicking to stay afloat, exhausted from constantly adjusting myself to fit in.
Maintaining friendships felt like a never-ending performance. I was a chameleon, shifting my personality, interests, and behaviors to match those around me. This approach gave me temporary social safety, but at a cost—I lost all sense of self. The friendships I worked so hard to maintain eventually crumbled because they weren’t built on authenticity.
"I had masked and mimicked my way into friendships, only to be left picking up the pieces of myself when they inevitably crashed and burned."
Shifting My Perspective on Friendships
Discovering my autism—and learning about female neurodivergent traits—transformed how I approached friendships.
Instead of asking, “How do I make them like me?” I started asking, “Where do I feel safe, valued, and understood?”
This shift gave me a quiet confidence. I stopped chasing connections that drained me and began advocating for my needs. I embraced solitude, learned to recognize when I felt regulated, and reflected on what I truly wanted from friendships.
"Believing in myself and refusing to conform to traditional social norms exposed me to a whole new world—I started finding my people."
Building Meaningful Connections
As I embraced my neurodivergence, I gravitated toward friendships that celebrated differences. I found people who valued honesty, shared passions, and unique perspectives on the world.
Surrounding myself with those who truly understood my brain allowed me to experience deep joy and a sense of belonging. I no longer feel like I’m treading water in social situations—now, I’m thriving.
Creating Space for Authenticity
Prioritizing authenticity in friendships allowed my friends—both neurodivergent and neurotypical—to do the same. Communication became open and judgment-free.
We understand that sometimes our social batteries drain faster than expected. Our friendships don’t require over-explaining, allow us to meet our sensory needs, and affirm who we are.
"We hold space for ourselves as we are and celebrate the small wins together."
True Belonging Comes from Being Yourself
My neurodivergence gave me the gift of understanding that real belonging doesn’t come from trying to fit in—it comes from being unapologetically yourself and letting the right people find you.
If you’ve ever felt the need to change yourself to belong, know this: You don’t have to.
Live as your true self, and the right people will celebrate you as you are. Together, we can build a world where authenticity is the norm.